Jessie Tries Making Jojo Move Faster

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Overjoyed (Stevie Wonder)

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“Overjoyed” by Stevie Wonder played all the way through, which was when Lori and I were sipping Starbucks trenta green iced tea and a caramel frappacino and eating a chicken sricha sandwich with veggies and a sweet onion chicken teriyaki sandwich both on sourdough breads at the terrace of the park when Skylar and Alias both showed up and realized who ate and drank healthier and who didn’t. Who was healthier? Me. Me. Meeeeee! Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Then by Jerry Goldsmith “Raid on Leoness” followed by “To Leoness” in that order that both played all the way through was when Alias lifted up tall Lori and kissed her. She kissed him back. Skylar and I did the exact same thing and while I did some stuff for me, I also as an extremely rich and famous person did way more things for other people and gave kisses to many extraterrestrials from mega giants to tiny miniatures and many of those humanoids of many sizes in between ranging from ten thousand feet all the way to six inches when fully grown. And nope this had nothing to do with “Honey I Shrunk The Kids” because in Weirdland it was illegal for a human to use a shrink or grow ray on themselves or anyone else even if it wasn’t against the will because it made the real bodysize changers extremely angry.

Everything was becoming a way of saying thank you and please only the please went first before the thank you always whether with people, horses or other animals and talking to any living thing was highly encouraged as well as talking to those who were soon to become living things.

And it was no surprise that the newly made real mannequins, miniatures, statues, dolls, puppets, holograms, Simulated people, dummies and 2D and 3D people were all jumping out of a plane when the flight commander that was the co-pilot of the pilot talked in yelling and scared everyone meaning that they jumped without parachutes. Luckily, they were able to fly like superheroes, which meant that everything was becoming one of the worst property antics ever.

Then of course with Aritha showed up and invited Anatica to enter the mall with Glenn Manning and Tiffany was when everyone ran away screaming, “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!” It was that bad. That horrible. Everything was becoming a big, huge disaster. A mountain was being made out of an anthill and mole hole too.

Then the song “The Execution” by Angelo Badalamenti from the “City of Lost Children” played all the way through as Pamela, Ophelia, Saturn and Loring all screamed as they were chained up to the execution chairs by Trevor the Terrible and Dr. Bryan Failure who had plans to kill them, but then of course, Jagalo, of course set them free by doing self-defense against all the riot gun shots and everything else that was becoming totally different and really, really interesting too.

Then after that Jagalo followed them out of the execution room and set them free. Then by Danny Elfman, “Spider-Man (Theme Song)” played all the way through as everyone was escaping all the horrific disasters that were not natural. The creatures that were exactly like Godzilla were damaging the city, the horrifying monsters were wrecking cars and chewing on the extraterrestrials’ property and also the giant doglike creatures, goop birds, vampires, dhampirs, zombies, roaring winged devil horns and even the Satan as well as God and Jesus Christ were causing a major disaster to a point to where everyone ran away screaming.

Then, of course, “Down Syndrome Girl” from “Family Guy” played all the way through and everyone at the party was dancing to it. There were many dances, which meant that everyone was finding themselves to be more than just cool. The dances were so cool that while Lori was dancing with Alias while I was dancing with Skylar. It was fast partner dance, which meant that even the children and the teenagers as well as adults were doing it too. They even offered soda, non-alcoholic drinks, alcohol, medical marijuana for the ailing, cigars and cigarettes too, which meant that a lot of people with asthma or allergies unless cured were out of luck. Everything was definitely starting to look up especially after it looked down. Nothing made the single sense anymore. Not even the military were being careful at all. Many properties were being ruined and people were screaming when mud became mud, mud, mud, mud especially when an African-American five-year-old boy was drinking sand mixed with water and then afterwards threw up, which everyone thought was not gross, but cute. However, when Jagalo had too much to drink, he threw up on the floor, which was when everyone screamed, “EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEW!” It was that bad. Nobody thought Jagalo doing it was cute, but then afterwards he sang a song called, “I am going to ride at horse camp. I’m just a twelve-year-old boy who doesn’t know any better. I’m going to ride in a horse show and buy my own self driving car, but only after I drive a UFO. I will someday be a military man if I go to military school and everything was becoming quite a terrible life for me because if I don’t do any of those things, I’m going to kill myself with a riot gun. Yeah!”

Then the five-year-old boy and Jagalo threw up again, which was when everyone cried out, “WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!” Then by punishment, Jagalo ended up babysitting the five-year-old boy, but instead of following the rules, he broke them. He allowed the five year old to dive into the swimming pool from the roof after he did it first. Then after that, they trespassed other people’s property and stole their self driving cars, UFOs, horses, clothes, furniture and even decided to live in a home where the sign said “Sold” and made the greys and reptilians who lived there so angry that they were not allowed to speak unless they were spoken to first. It wasn’t the greys who were that controlling. The reptilians were. But they were both hostile to humans. Then the Maitre aliens showed up and tried to arrest Jagalo and the five-year-old named Marc, but they resisted arrest and got away in their self-driving car, which was when the two cars flew as they retreated in the even further futuristic city that made everything beyond laughable. It wasn’t even funny at all. They really broke the law. They even made themselves throw up by riding inside a washing machine and dryer. Then they did the same thing with the two dogs they didn’t know and they threw-up too. That whole day was a disaster and they also fed the horses paint and glue and believe or not, it gave the ones who did it such bad colic that to save their lives, they would have to resurrect them, which was exactly what ended up happening and yes the paint and glue was fed to them by a large paint brush. Everything was becoming quite weird as Jagalo and Marc found Weirdland; however, Jagalo did get fired from babysitting Marc for humiliating the parents and teaching the kid to do bad and illegal stuff that no one loved. That meant that unless Jagalo shaped up, he would never allowed to babysit Marc ever again. He did apologize to Marc and his parents for being so gross and inappropriate and irresponsible and decided to the most kid appropriate thing ever. Go on the merry-go-round for a dollar and have the horses become real and it was the best thing that Jagalo had ever done for Marc. They would never forget their second chance that they took for the rest of their lives.

The Weirdest Weirdland Days EVER

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One day in Weirdland after the night of a thunderstorm, there was a rainbow, but guess what happened after that? It didn’t rain water. It rained money. It rained so much money that everyone in Weirdland became rich and that people were going to need to rethink that money didn’t grow on trees, or so it seemed.

Then the song “Light My Fire” by Stevie Wonder played all the way through as everyone became richer than rich, but of course, much weirder things had happened then that.

For example, scientists were teaching all the animals to talk just like people by using an experimental machine, which caused the animal activists to protest and for the animal patrol to arrest any scientist who did it, which meant that Sam, Spike, Rolani, Amy, Amy Zonn, Dr. Morlana Taylor, Trevor the Terrible and even Dr. Bryan Failure had to be bailed out of jail by Carrie, the giantess who used all her expenses just to do so. And the bail was only ten thousand dollars too for everyone.

And the song, “I Like That” (Cool and Dre) by Jae Millz played all the way through when the elderly rode the merry-go-round that made them younger every time they went around and the babies and really little kids went on the opposite merry-go-round that made them older every time around to a point to where they could rush growing up, but the other way around was to prevent dying and living naturally. And yes it was weird. It was really weird.

However, the only reason it rained money was because the money fell out of over a million UFOs with extremely rich extraterrestrials and they were the ones that wanted to make the children older and to the elderly to regain their youth to avoid fast death and living naturally. Not everyone agreed with the inventions because the animals talking with technology had more negative results than positive ones. Besides screw animals talking. They don’t need to talk like us, extraterrestrials, giants and miniatures. They just need to speak their own language that best fits them and suits their needs.

Then “Disney’s Mickey and the Beanstalk End Credits Song” played all the way through as Buddy and Weirdland saw Weirdland again and they gave everyone giant golden eggs, which meant that no one would ever starve again and that was the nicest thing that they had ever done. Besides, Bravo had his moments especially when a ten-year-old genetically modified human being rode him. He was Caucasian with black hair and brown eyes and his name was Toby. Toby was such a good rider that he became the youngest horse whisperer in all of Weirdland that only did natural horsemanship. He didn’t even break horses. He just gentled him and once a year did a horse sale, so that Robertville Ranch could have even more wonderful horses than anyone else had ever seen. That was all thanks to him finding random money from the ground and there was never any homelessness ever again after that.

Later, everyone living at Pamela’s four bedroom five bathroom house named Saturn, Loring and Ophelia all watched the funniest “Family Guy” clip on the common area television with laptops on the other side where after Chris’s grandfather said that he was going to be kept as healthy as a horse that after the horse, Thunder tried to put weight on his leg and the man with gun decided to put him down had the joke on him to where the horse shot the man’s leg and asked if he was ready to race by pulling the man’s hair with a broken leg and using the whip on the man singing the “Da da da da da da da da da” race song and that was when the scene ended by everyone laughing and Ophelia sobbing, “That’s not funny! That’s horribly abusive and sick!” Then Saturn reminded her that it was a part of “Family Guy” and if she didn’t like that kind of humor that maybe she shouldn’t watch “Family Guy” at all and that was when Ophelia took out a horse whip and not only whipped herself on the back, but she also whipped Pamela, Loring and Saturn making them all so angry especially when it meant that Saturn threatened to kick Ophelia out of the house, but Ophelia said she had nowhere else to go and that whipping people was totally different than whipping and animals and that it was a better circus comedy than “Family Guy” and the worst part was that she filmed the whole thing and then it went on Weirdland News. Uh oh. That was not good at all. That was a huge mistake, which meant the next day, Robin blew the foghorn of the lighthouse at five o’clock in the morning and yelled “Wake up people!” making everyone mad, but the only reason he did it was so Ophelia could apologize to everyone in public for her unfunny practical joke and it was definitely the worst one ever. Not only should people not be whipped, but neither should animals. What Ophelia did was very wrong, but luckily she kept her promise never to do such idiocy ever again and a good thing too since she never lost her friends and nearly got kicked out of Pamela’s house for her atrocious behavior like that. But that will never happen again. Not ever. Not ever.

Then the song “Go Home” by Stevie Wonder played all the way through especially when Melody rode astride a brown and white slender paint horse while Clifford rode Will, Gina rode the solid black horse and Hilary rode the Palomino horse and everyone was whooping as they were cantering into the valley, crossing streams, going up and down semi-steep hills and even going on dirt, lawns, golf courses and the highway, going back to Robertville Ranch only to later see Devon and Katie kiss each other, but they both were wearing nothing, but wrapped up towels while doing it, which meant that earlier they were making love, in the shower. But now they were making out and not even stopping to breathe.

And then one day, I decided to do the dumbest thing in the world to impress Skylar. I climbed aboard the spunkiest Paint horse I could find and cantered him when it really looked like galloping and neck reined her like a true cowgirl. I not only dressed as Bandana Girl, but I also wore a helmet. But when Alias saw me, he screamed, “NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Alias tried to grab me off the horse, but I didn’t let him because I had the horse rear up while I was riding it and even though I fell off the Paint, he did end up sending Alias to the hospital where he had to get his spinal cord fixed. I felt so bad that I used a picnic table to jump onto the paint and although she tried to throw me off, I didn’t let her. Besides, I saw Skylar yelling my name, “Jessie! Jessie L. Cohn Weirdland! Jessie L. Cohn Weirdland! Where are you?!”

As I got closer to Skylar on a Paint, I also got close to me riding aboard a bay horse named Dakota, I knew that it was meant to be. Skylar and I cantered off into the sunset, and even while we were having the horses stand completely still, he were still kissing and even going as far as a buddy hug and neck reining too. Skylar and I were the best of the best and we were definitely so madly in love that it was thanks to Alias that now Skylar and I could officially elope and we did. We ran away to get married together and we’ve never had a better time ever in our entire lives.

The Best Pajama Party Ever

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Then the song from the end credits of “Mickey and the Beanstalk” played all the way through until the new Saturnarian extraterrestrial named Pamela decided to invite Claudia, Sky Pilot and Alias to her place where there was going to be a sleepover party and the best part was that it was a small and even co-ed group with two women and two men.

One of the first things that Pamela did with Claudia, Sky Pilot and Alias did was have their pictures taken at the alien museum where they spent three hours posing with the other extraterrestrials. Then after that, they saw a horror scream movie that made them all scream at the movie theatre, which was followed by a ride on the bullet train.

Then Pamela led Claudia, Sky Pilot and Alias up the beanstalk to meet up with Buddy, who was a young man who lived on the cloud for years and tried to warn them not to go to the giant, but they did anyway. They met a giant named Willy who wore a flashing hat that said “Raceway” and he seemed more than just friendly to all of them. He was also friendly to Buddy who he let fly on the giant goose that laid golden eggs whenever he felt like it.

Then Pamela asked Buddy if he would come down the Beanstalk with her, Claudia, Sky Pilot and Alias, but he said no. He decided to stay with Willy who had been so good to him after he was mean to him at first, which meant Buddy and Willy never went down the beanstalk at all.

Then after that, Pamela served a big bowl of homemade chili to Claudia, Sky Pilot and Alias all had together with non-alcoholic beer and for dessert, they made their very own chocolate covered bananas with no nuts and dark chocolate. Then they watched a chick flick that was also an extraterrestrial movie before finally going to bed in all the bedrooms that Pamela had meaning everyone had their own bathroom and their own bedroom for the night too.

The next day, Pamela made for herself, Claudia, Sky Pilot and Alias made sunny side up eggs with orange juice, decaf with milk, ham, and hashbrowns that were non oily or sticky and everyone sure had a good hardy breakfast and that was while they were still in their pajamas. Then Pamela asked Claudia, Sky Pilot and Alias if they could move in with her, but they all said no because they already had homes; however, they were happy to have just slept over with Pamela and kept company, which meant that she was going to have to live by herself for a little while longer until she could find three homeless housemates because after all, the sleepover was what had Pamela, Claudia, Sky Pilot and Alias find two days and one night in pajamas in Weirdland. Best of all, they ended the extraterrestrial secrecy on earth thanks to their sleepover in Weirdland.

I Don’t Need Anything But You

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One day in Weirdland, there was a trail ride. Wallis was riding aboard the Rocky Mountain Horse named Rainbow while Pee Wee Herman was riding Raincloud, Leslina was riding Olive, Annie was riding Annie, Sylvia was on Chester, Brian was on Sophie, Dylan was on Dakota, Peter Pan was riding Danny, Mulan was riding Cash, Ella was riding Nevada, Lucinda was riding Ellie, Aileen was riding Mr. Smith, Aidan was riding Sport, Jay Trouble was riding Shetan, Joseph was riding Penny, Christina was riding Magnum, Pepper was riding Dakota, Rydelle was riding Midnight, Bree was on Bella, Eugeal was on Stitch, Pat was on Breezy, Jagalo was on Maleficent, Leota was on Silver, Snow White was on Maleficent, Sandy Roan was on Wrangler and Joan Templeton was riding Friday, which was what made the trail ride a lot of fun for everyone. It’s too bad Robertville Ranch and Weirdland Studios do not exist in real life, but in this Weirdland story, it does. Shows what the figment of my imagination of what the year 3000 can be like. That is really what it is. They rode for over two hours and everyone was having a lot of fun. The valley was only a little hilly, but most of the terrain was flat and wonderful. The trails weren’t narrow at all, but instead they were wide. There was even a forest and beach access, which was what everyone went through and had the fun with. It was when the trail ride was over that the party happened with all the characters in the story, which was how the song from the 2014 movie of “Annie” called “I Don’t Need Anything But You” played all the way through as the multisized figures from mega giants and tiny miniatures danced and bodysize changed as if “The Night of the Museum” was happening all over again with many multisized figures and many sizes in between. There were drinks both alcoholic and non-alcoholic and there were some drug addicts trying hookahs, marijuana, crack, cocaine, cigars, cigarettes, straw, and even hooch, which was what made everything fun beyond fun, fun, fun, fun. That was when Wallis finally became a part of the extended family and of course, I was there too with Alias, Ramona, Noem, Reese and Jedd too, which were our family. We were surprised to not only watch Noem drink alcohol, but Reese and Jedd along with Ramona were also trying alcohol. They got themselves beyond drunk to a point to where Noem fell off a roof and the black knight that looked exactly like the one from “Family Guy” went “Oh my god!” and rode over to rescue Noem from stupidity and irresponsibility. Of course, Reese and Jedd threw up while Ramona went what I yelled “Timber!” and fell on the floor. It was no surprise that Alias and I had a serious talk with them about why they never should have had alcohol and what dangerous effects it could have especially since with their anxiety medication, it made them even sicker than they were supposed to be meaning even one drunk was way too much. Alias and I were glad that Noem too was a part of that talk. Then after that, I forbade Noem from ever dating Ramona again since she was an extremely bad influence to him and his siblings and explained to him that he was a drug addict that just went to rehab. It was no surprise that they got grounded for a week, but not to have fun at the house. To help our android maid, Valerie and our android butler, Marker who was African-American descent to clean up the house and do all their chores with no laptops and no television until they had finally learned their lesson. It was no surprise that they hated every minute of it. In addition to that, Alias and I punished them all by forcing them to actually drink non-alcoholic beer until they got so sick that they couldn’t have it anymore to teach them why being sick, passed out and drunk was no fun at all. Then I made them research why drugs and alcohol both legal and illegal was dangerous and how pointless wasting their lives really were. But after a hardcore two-week lesson on all that, they decided never to do it again. After all it was my house, my rules. Even Alias agreed on that one since he treated me the most like royalty by getting me two wonderful phony friends, which were the androids Valerie and Marker who had self driving cars, ate, drank, slept, did all the grocery shopping and even all of our chores, but we still made our children work once in a while. After all, our androids couldn’t always be our services.

There was nothing anyone could do to change our values, but only some people rented the Weirdland Studio mansion that we turned into apartments with a common television room and dining room. Anyone could move there and leave anytime and what everyone thought was a semi-socialist anti-capitalistic world really wasn’t. It was really capitalistic and democratic, but not at all socialist.

And later, our whole family followed by our extended family sang the song, “Right foot, left foot, right foot, left foot…” over and over again until we heard the whole entire song that completed “I Don’t Need Anything But You” and it was no surprise that everyone was happy to be together as a family plus extended family and to never give up ever. It wasn’t just about riding and partying, but about making the best Weirdland movie there was too because after all, we found Weirdland. All of together had found Weirdland.

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